Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths…Proverbs 3:5
Last week, I had lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile. As we caught up, I shared my desire to finish up some writing projects and get my work out. One thing led to another and soon, quite casually, she mentioned an idea that I would never have thought of. And, soon that feeling was palpable. You may know the one. Synchronicity was at play and it felt as if the Beloved was afoot. Even the message in my fortune cookie proclaimed, Your dearest wish will come true!
The next morning I went out onto my screen porch to do my practice and, suddenly, realized what I had not done. I had not come home from lunch the day before to immediately create a 40-day mantra practice to manifest this blessed new idea. No, instead, this morning, I found myself chanting parts of the beautiful hymn Lead Me Lord: Your plans for me are perfect. Lead me Lord, I will follow. Lead me Lord, I will go. You have called me. I will answer. Lead me Lord, I will go. And, my heart swelled wide. That sweet kind of swelling that just happens when some place, deep, unexpectedly cracks open.
Now, just today, I thought about the monkey mind our Buddhist teacher talked of on Sunday and how very easy it is to attach to what we are wanting next. When our mind is in this state, we are not content to simply rest in the present moment as it is. Instead, we are off dreaming, chasing some imagined future. And, being asleep, sadly, we miss the true blessings right before us and within us – simple, yet eternal, as the rise and fall of our chest as we are breathed into life each moment.
Yet how tempting it is, with such excitement, to follow the monkey mind and lean on our own understanding. After all, it can feel so right! But, this morning, I remembered something beyond right or wrong. I remembered Grace…those moments that have found me, sometimes twirling me around in playful surprise, other times cradling me in my fear, but always emptying me, to satiate me, with that which passes all understanding. And how, in those moments, without effort, even my monkey mind rests.
Will I follow up on my dearest wish? You bet! Will I create a practice? Of course! It’s my job, after all, to follow the Love put in my heart. But, to where? Not my call. And, to what end? Don’t know. I just know my dear monkey mind can only imagine itself.
But, Grace does Know. So I put my trust there…
And, suddenly, I find myself on some field of wonder far beyond my dearest wish or imagination…afoot with my monkey mind…smiling.