Stephanie Rutt

October 27, 2009 · 1:33 pm

Compassion through the Pain

I just wanted to take a moment to connect with you about this – as it is a situation very close to my own heart.

I am currently writing a memoir about this very same thing… how to hold on to compassion while we navigate all the different emotions that we experience when we are faced with acts of violence or crimes that cause so much pain and fear and yet seem to make no sense.

My mother was murdered when I was 12 and I spent many years trying to make sense of it all. I am happy to say that my yoga practice has helped me tremendously with moving into a place of healing. My mother’s death was tragic and I still cannot stand to think of her suffering but it also allowed me the opportunity to practice forgiveness on such a huge scale.

It is a delicate and challenging act – trying to balance your very human feelings of loss, sadness, anger and grief while still not losing sight of compassion. Keeping your heart open to those who hurt you…. lots of deep breathing certainly helps. 🙂

It is a journey that I have personally undertaken and have not only survived but thrived because of it.

If there is any way in which my own experiences could help facilitate healing within the community then I am happy to lend my voice.

Please let me know how I might be of service.

Peace~Love~Blessings,

William, Steven, Quinn and Chris

Many of you have written to me in response to my letter and I’m so very grateful it’s been helpful. For those who courageously engage in a spiritual practice, there is an intimate awareness of the law of karma. Having visited some of our own inner places of sorrow, we know intimately that all we do to others we find in our self and our greatest challenge becomes how to heal and forgive – first our self and then, from that place, to extend compassion and forgiveness to others.

Some of you have seen the letter I received from a man in the maximum security section of Pelican State Prison. He had read my book, An Ordinary Life Transformed: Lessons for Everyone from the Bhagavad Gita, and wrote how the book had helped him to find an inner freedom even as he sat in his prison cell. It got me thinking about William, Steven, Quinn and Chris. How can we come to compassion for them and their families as we can for Kimberly and Jaime and their extended family? How can we authentically grapple with holding those who commit harmful action accountable while also feeling deep compassion for them? I would offer that a good place to start is in our own spiritual practice where we practice holding our own wrongful doing in a loving way. While we may not be able to personally identify with a particular act of wrong doing, whom among us has not held enough pain and suffering to be able to identify with the despair that can give rise to such actions?

I have contacted my former colleagues in the Souhegan Interfaith Council as a starting place to begin a dialog about how we authentically move from fearing to loving the perpetrators of harm among us. I will let you know what transpires and how you may join us in this dialogue to continuing being a force for good for all of our brothers and sisters. Meanwhile, I have posted these comments on our blog to start the dialogue…

Much Love!
Stephanie

Become a Force for Good!

When the unthinkable happens in our own backyard, its force is so unexpected and stunning, we are left staggering and numb. Some instinctual rage wells up in our collective gut and cries NO! Not this! Not here! And, as that same cry echoes through our collective heart, the mind gropes helplessly for some way to understand. Yet, we remain at a loss.

And, we are likely never to fully know what brought four boys to the Cates home early that Sunday morning to perpetrate such evil on Kimberly and Jaime. We trust that Kimberly now rests in the arms of Grace and we hold Jaime and David in our collective care. For William, Steven, Quinn and Chris, we must raise the sword of justice, not flinch in our duty, and hold each accountable. But, I, for one, believe that true justice will occur beyond our laws. The Bible tells us we reap what we sow. Eastern faiths call it karma. Simply, we don’t get away with anything. At some point, most likely long after the events have faded in memory for most of us, the full force of what each boy has done will well up, unabated, to be purged and reconciled. And, each will know, for himself, the cries for mercy heard long before from Kimberly and Jaime. It is the Divine law, echoed in all traditions, that what we do to another, we do to ourselves.

Meanwhile, what are we to do finding ourselves in the wake of such evil? I say, “Stand up!” Unwavering and undaunted, let’s turn the tide by becoming a Force for Good! Let’s courageously search our own hearts for ways to better see the signs of despair growing among us. Let’s join arm in arm to stand for the disenfranchised so the forces of evil struggle to find places to prey. While we are not individually responsible for the choices and actions of others, we are culpable for the conditions that give rise to such actions. So, as a Force for Good, let’s strive to include all in our collective prayer, the slain, the slayers and their families, as we seek to serve a greater good. And, to those who would ask, “Where was God?” when evil strikes, I would answer, “It is God who waits for us! WE are here to become instruments of divine Grace! WE are here to be a Force for Good!”

We have created a blog called Become a Force for Good! www.becomeaforceforgood.wordpress.com List your organization, what you are doing, what your needs are, where volunteers are needed. Share your inspirational stories, ideas and experiences. Become a Force for Good!

Rev. Stephanie Rutt

Tree of Life Interfaith Temple

Amherst, New Hampshire

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