Stephanie Rutt

Would U still love me?
                  If I would hurt U
                                  call U names
                                 curse yr women
                                 enslave yr children’s minds,
                                 lie to U about yr trueself
                  Would U still love me?
                                                Author Unknown

In 1971, I ended a paper for a Black Studies course at the University of Southern Mississippi with this poem. Last summer, cleaning out the basement, I found the paper and remembered this poignant passage. It caused me to reflect on what has changed since then and on the events unfolding today with the “Black Lives Matter” and the responsive “All Lives Matter” and “Blue Lives Matter” movements. The line that resonated most then and still today is lie to U about yr trueself.

Of course all lives matter! Yet, many disenfranchised groups have had to fight to matter, for inclusion in our founding All men are created equal ideal: African Americans, Native Americans, many other ethnic groups, women, the LGBTQ community, the disabled, the poor, the homeless, the mentally ill. Yes, it would wonderful if we could stand side by side with all our disenfranchised brothers and sisters and, together, sound a resounding, “All Lives Matter!” However, when we witness horrific injustice, even murder, of a fellow American as we all just did in the recent killing of George Floyd, as well as those before him, such a cry rings flat and feels like a not so subtle attempt to veil the historical legacy of discrimination and racism found in these United States where the All men are created equal ideal neglected to specify that it, in essence, only referred to land–owning white males.

Truth is black lives have not and, in lingering degree, still do not matter the same as white lives. Why? Because, historically, we have collectively lied to them about their true self and now we are living in the fallout of this horrific injustice. Today, we see the face of full retaliation, particularly against law enforcement, seeking justice long overdue. Underneath this aggression, I believe, lies an abyss of long held, festering hurt and anger–the kind that starts early and never goes away. Still, sadly, many are abandoning Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s charge to resist retaliation even in the face of horrific injustice. As a result, the cycle of hate and violence continues to be perpetuated because, just like black lives, blue lives matter too.

I wish we didn’t need a “Black Lives Matter” movement. But, I’ve seen too much. Felt too much. Known to much to deny my part, yes, my part. I remember “White Only” drinking fountains and bathrooms and not just in the deep south. I remember shacks clustered on back dusty roads and hearing of colored towns hidden deep in the woods. In the city, I could see at the edge of town those segregated neighborhoods, especially at night when the oil lamps glowed, where white folks just didn’t go, ‘cause, you know, colored people live there. I am old enough to remember that, of course, I must be somehow better ‘cause yous is white. Sheltered in my privileged status, I could easily look away, get busy, deny, rationalize, anything but recognize and acknowledge my sister’s, my brother’s disenfranchised isolation. Like so many of my status, by not giving voice to the truth, I helped to perpetuate the lie.

And such complacency, however innocent or unintended, continues to allow for the seed of racism to take hold, generation after generation. This seed begins with what I’ve imagined to be the moment and it happens, mercilessly, in the hearts of children. Something happens and suddenly they know they are different and that that difference isn’t good. Sadly, in that moment, they start to believe the lie being told to them about their trueself. For our African American brothers and sisters, I can imagine it happening one Christmas sitting on Santa’s lap. Why does Santa look different? Or, perhaps in church. Why does Jesus? Maybe the moment happens on a playground when being bullied and taunted makes them cry or lash out. In not so many years past, perhaps it happened when they asked, Why can’t we go in there? I’m hungry or Why do we have to sleep in the car? Or, maybe it was when they drank from one of those “White Only” drinking fountains only to be yanked away by a horrified bystander. Or, perhaps, there was not one specific event but just, one day, that sour, sinking, it aint ever goin’ away feeling that black made them different, less than, and worst of all, it couldn’t be changed or gotten rid of.

When we allow any group of people to believe the lie about their trueselves, something dies within them and, as a result, within us as well. This is actually a great blessing because this painful acknowledgement can only arise from an undeniable knowing that we are all one family in this heart of God so what we do to the other we do to ourselves. The good news is we can choose to reject the lie and follow the truth that we are all truly equal in the eyes of our creator. This means that, perhaps, we of privilege must also give up the lie we’ve knowingly or unknowingly told ourselves: that our lives matter more than others.

Acknowledging our part in the creation of discrimination in the collective consciousness is not for the fainthearted. If we are to avoid postures of either moral superiority on the one hand or over–played humility on the other, we must be willing, again, to follow the advice of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and first look within ourselves. Yes, within. We must search our own hearts, indeed conduct a fierce inventory, of where we have been blind but are now daring to see. Then we will be closer to an authentic heart space when we ask our African American brothers and sisters, What can I do to assure the ‘moment’ never happens to another innocent child?  and be willing to hear the answers.

Yes, if more of us would be willing to cultivate that authentic heart space, perhaps we’d come a bit closer to a day when we could all stand together and sing, Free at last, Free at last. Thank God almighty we are free at last and Dr. King’s dream would come just a little more into focus–revealing a time when no one will need to ask…

If I lied to U about yr trueself, would U still love me?

I wear it all the time now. It came on my birthday in a small box from a lifelong friend far away. I was surprised because, though we always exchange cards and sometimes a phone call on our birthdays, we have not exchanged gifts in many years. Yet, when I opened the box, I understood. It was a breathe blessing bracelet and the packaging said, “Made with love in the small pilgrimage town of Medjugorje.” Medjogorje is where the Blessed Mother Mary has appeared since 1981 giving messages to the world. My dear friend had absolutely no idea what had been happening in my life. Later, she would tell me she just knew she was drawn to send it to me. You will understand better the significance of this gift by the end of the story – a story that has left me gratia plena, full of grace.

The telling of this unfolding I most humbly and gratefully dedicate to the Blessed Mother Mary. Ave Maria! My heart has no words to thank you for being with me, for being my Mother in my most desperate hour, and for staying with me going forward to teach me ever more deeply the mysteries of birthing God. Oh, how I thank you! How I love you!

Here is a simple accounting of the events sprinkled with insights gleamed along the way. I sense the larger spiritual journey has only just begun. Yet, it feels ripe to share at this juncture. I trust completely that each of you will receive something important for your life and journey. It is in this spirit, I offer my personal story.

**********

After an extremely busy school year, I was very much looking forward to my summer break and my hammock. What I didn’t realize was just how much my body was needing the rest for, by the first week of June, I was starting to have neck and head pain.

Whether we are aware or not, God’s Law will calibrate us when we have wondered too far off balance. Yet, truly, this shows how much we are Loved. The body registers this as dis-ease.

During this time, a friend dropped by to pick up the key to the Sparrow’s Nest as I was too sick to go to a meeting. In our brief conversation, he told my husband and I of having had Bells Palsy. In my state, the story barely registered. Later, someone would reflect, “It was like God sent him to let you know this was going to happen and that, like him, you’d be okay.”

Pay attention. From the most seemingly insignificant places, God is always reaching out to us. How blessed to know we are so very cared for.

Within a few days, I woke and noticed my mouth felt strange. Looking in the mirror, I saw that one side was drooping and not responsive to any of my efforts to fix it. My husband took me immediately to the ER. My mother had had her first stroke at about my age. I remember feeling numb. After a brief examination, the doctor said matter-of-factly, “It looks like you’ve had a stroke in the middle of the night. We’ll get a cat-scan to be sure. Meanwhile, I’m going to admit you overnight.” And, off he went. What? Is this really happening?

After two cat-scans and an MRI came back normal, the doctor looked clearly puzzled. But, by this time, my daughter had arrived and noticed my right eye was not closing in sync with my left. The doctor took another look. “Okay, now I understand. It’s Bells Palsy.” “So, no stroke?” I asked. And, “What is Bells Palsy?” not recalling, at that moment, the earlier conversation with my friend. After some explanation, I was released with medication. Still numb. What just happened?

Though all is unfolding quite perfectly, it can be difficult to understand the reasons for our most troubling and challenging times. It can take a while, sometimes quite a while, perhaps not even in this lifetime, for the deeper lessons being gifted to come into focus. But I so trust that the heart knows, sees, what may be, initially, invisible to the eye.

Shortly after returning home, I wrote to you, my blessed community, to ask for your prayers. That evening, one of my dear friends to whom I had loaned my Mother Teresa rosary called to insist that she come over and return the rosary. At some point, she suggested praying with the rosary together stressing, “The rosary is all about Mother Mary.” True, I thought. But, at that very moment, it struck me that, for all my extraordinary experiences with the rosary (see my February 11, 2011 blog, “The Mother Teresa Rosary – The Next Chapter”), my focus had always been on Mother Teresa whom I had long loved. So, that night, as I clutched my rosary close in bed, I started calling on the Blessed Mother…

God often speaks to us through one another. It is why we are given to one another. When we reach out, share in Love, God is there for Love can only beget Love.

And every day and night I started praying to the Blessed Mother. Oh, how loved and supported I felt. I just knew she was near.

A few days later, I went see my doctor for the follow up visit. “The doctor at the hospital ordered a test for Lyme,” he said. “The first results have come back positive. We’re now going to send it off for the next level to verify. I will call you in the next few days to let you know.” Feeling better and still elated not to have had a stroke, I thought: Hummmm, Lyme? Okay. Anything else is secondary. Anything else I can handle. And, I felt impatient to leave.

Then I noticed a slight shift in his posture as he looked down at my chart. I can remember feeling a pause. “But, there is something else we need to talk about. One of the cat-scans taken at the hospital showed a spot on your lungs, a small nodule. It looks like the kind that can grow unnoticed and silent for years until finally lung cancer is diagnosed but, by then, it’s too late. If this is the case, we can say, ‘Thank you Bells Palsy!’” What? Geeeeeees!! What else??? “The hospital will call you in the next few days to schedule another cat-scan for your lungs. Try not to worry. We’re just trying to be sure.”

On the ride home, it suddenly became quite clear to me why the rosary and the Blessed Mother were with me. I told my husband but decided not to say anything to anyone else until I knew for sure. And, right away, I wrote a prayer and started sending love to my nodule. Gently touching my upper lungs…

Little one, what has formed you? What are you here to tell me? I am listening. Help me to receive all you have for me. Talk to me in the silence so you, so I, so we may be healed. Meanwhile, know that I am surrounding you with Light and infusing you with Love. Any dis-ease you may hold is returning to easy for nothing lives in my body but Light and Love. Be well, little one, for all is well.

I started saying this all during the day – in the shower, in the car, in my hammock. I began and ended each day with my rosary thanking Mother Mary for being with me, for holding me in her tender care and healing love.

The next week was my yearly retreat with my seminarians at the House of Prayer in New Ipswich, NH. I decide it should go forward. The first night there, we were introduced to a nun, Sister Miriam, visiting from a Carmelite order. Immediately, I remembered that the Chasuble my mentor in seminary had given me for my graduation was from a Carmelite order in Italy. Its picture is above. I have always wondered if the image on it was of Mother Teresa because of the blue and white coloring. I asked my husband to text me a picture to show Sister Miriam and the next day she assured me it was not Mother Teresa but, rather, the Mother Mary. That same day, I received a call confirming my positive results for Lyme and a call to schedule my lung cat-scan.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10: I am all around you. I yearn for you. I am as close as your breath and as dear as your heartbeat. You are my Beloved…All these years the Blessed Mother had been right here with me in a way I had not known or recognized. Where else are you hiding? Smiling, I can only wonder! Help me to stay open, looking with soft eyes, so I may better see You, feel You, know You everywhere.

Before leaving the House of Prayer, I discussed my fall workshop offering with Sister Rita and knew, without a doubt, that I would be offering a workshop honoring Mother Mary conceived on Mister Eckhart’s well known saying, “We are all meant to be mothers of God…for God is always needing to be born.” I could feel the Blessed Mother now steadily each moment, palpable, always with me.

The next week, I had my lung cat-scan and a few days later, right before my birthday, I received a called to tell me, quite happily, that the module was gone. In fact, no irregular issues were found.

Recall now the beginning of this story: receiving the breathe blessing bracelet from my dear lifelong friend made in the small pilgrimage town of Medjugorje. Amen. For me, receiving the bracelet confirmed what I had felt all along – that the Blessed Mother had been with me, was with me, and, as importantly, would continue to be with me going forward. For, blessedly now, I can feel her each moment directing, guiding and breathing through me the very gift God is now seeking to birth next through my humble, joyous and most expectant life.

Gratia plena I am for the Blessed Mother is caring for me; Love is healing me; and, full with silent wonder, the Grace of God is birthing me. Ave Maria!

We are all meant to be mothers of God…for God is always needing to be born.
Meister Eckhart

I wondered about the baby picked up off the subway floor. I flinched at the piercing sounds of the child screaming. I tried to imagine the story behind the bouquet of flowers clenched fast by the man hurrying away. And then, for just a few seconds, I felt my jaw soften as I saw someone kneeling down on the sidewalk writing in blue chalk, “WE ARE ONE.”

And I thought about what Anne Frank said, “Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness,” a sentiment expressed across many faith traditions. We too can light a candle dear community, indeed, many candles from the one. For Brussels and for the millions who are suffering violence at this moment. We must.

Blessedly, there is a stirring right here in our community right now. We are beginning to gather together, people from many faith communities. We are visioning together making a visible, public statement of peaceful solidarity, purpose and hope – making visible that blue message on that sidewalk, “WE ARE ONE.” If you are wondering what you can do, how you can help to bring light into the darkness of ignorance, join us for we will be walking together, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhist, Hindus, Sikhs, Native Americans, to name only a few, lighting many candles against the backdrop of horror and suffering.

Muhammad said, “None of you are true believers until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.” My love yearns for the baby to be well, the child comforted, the flowers to be delivered, and, mostly, for many of us to come together for peace – to rise up as we kneel together, side by side, with blue chalk to write in a thousand languages, “WE ARE ONE.”

For Brussels. For all humankind.

Join us. It is time.

In January, as part of my doctoral studies, I participated in an intensive course entitled Topics in Jewish, Christian & Muslim Relations. On the last day, we visited the largest mosque in New England, the ISBCC, The Islamic Society of Boston Cultural Center in Roxbury Crossing, MA. As part of our visit, we listened to a talk by Shaykh Yasir Fahmy called The Toxicity of Othering. It was not lost on any of us that, even as he was speaking to his largely Muslim audience warning them not to engage in othering, it was actually they who were experiencing othering by many Americans.

About a third of the way through his talk, I started to have images of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. As I continued listening, I noticed that if I were to remove the Arabic phrases the Shaykh occasionally included and changed “Allah” to “God,” indeed, the core message seemed to have great resonance with the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Curious, once home, I listened to the video again off the ISBCC website and printed out a transcript. From there, my journey began and below are my findings which led to the creation of The Shaykh & The Preacher.

The key categories: Origins of Unhealthy Otherness; Outcomes of Unhealthy Otherness; How to Combat Unhealthy Otherness; and, How to Cultivate ‘Healthy’ Otherness, came to me as I heard the similarities unfold. The sub-headings are mine also used as a way to highlight the specific teachings within each category. Shaykh Yasir Fahmy’s quotes have been occasionally edited by punctuation only to facilitate ease of reading. The numbers noted at the end of each quote indicate where in the video the wording appeared. The quotes by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. are taken directly from the sources indicated at the end of each quote.

Enjoy…

Origins of Unhealthy Otherness
Exalting the Self and the Self’s Group as Superior

The Shaykh:
“We want upliftment. We want recognition. We want stability. We want to be known and recognized. We want to be justified. Because of our distance from Allah, we think that the only way I am to make myself big is by belittling others.” (25:05 – 25:34)

The Preacher:
“We all have the drum major instinct. We all want to be important, to surpass others, to achieve distinction, to lead the parade. … And the great issue of life is to harness the drum major instinct. It is a good instinct if you don’t distort it and pervert it.”
(Sermon at Ebenezer Baptist Church, February 2, 1968)

Outcomes of Unhealthy Otherness
Removing the Inferior Others

The Shaykh:
“[At the extreme, this need for recognition] becomes toxic, demonic, destructive. The self becomes self-aggrandizing and self-absorbed. (2:57 – 3:11) You are a danger to my existence, to my power. You threaten me so I want to destroy you. (5:35 -5:43) [These are] diseases of the heart that exist at the root of this toxic other. (18:44-18:50) People have trouble distinguishing between religious or cultural expressions and human value.” (9:48 – 9:54)

The Preacher:
“We’ve been in the mountain of war. We’ve been in the mountain of violence. We’ve been in the mountain of hatred long enough. It is necessary to move on now, but only by moving out of this mountain can we move to the promised land of justice and brotherhood and the Kingdom of God.” (Sermon at Temple Israel, February 26, 1965)

How to Combat Unhealthy Otherness
Humbly examine the self.

The Shaykh:
“So brothers and sisters as we think critically about this disease that exists in society we have to begin with ourselves. We begin by looking in the mirror and thinking, ’Am I a person who otherizes?’Am I someone who puts others into other ugly categories and belittles them because of who they are?” (21:49 – 22:13)

“We must take a step back and before really thinking about what people are doing to me, I have to ask myself, ‘To what extent do some of these diseases exist within me?’ For to them as you do it, it will be done to you. Before we sit there and look at others, we have to ask, ‘Am I truly embodying the best of prophetic ideals in this particular regard?’” (7:10 – 8:02)

The Preacher:
“Now first let us deal with this question, which is a practical one: How do we go about loving our enemies? I think the first thing is this: In order to love your enemies, you must begin by analyzing self. And I’m sure that seems strange to you, that I start out telling you this morning that you love your enemies by beginning with a look at self.” [later] “There might be something within you that arouses the tragic hate response in the other individual. And this is one of the tragedies of human nature. So we begin to love our enemies and love those persons that hate us, whether in collective life or individual life, by looking at ourselves.” (Loving Your Enemies, Nov. 17, 1957)

How to Cultivate ‘Healthy’ Otherness
Know one another.

The Shaykh:
“The purpose of all creation is ‘so you may know one another,’ to have an intimate engagement with people. [Allah said] I made you into these different tribes that you might know one another. So, it is through humility – that is the way we begin to heal the pains of our society.” (29:36 – 29:56)

The Preacher:
“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.” (Advice for Living, May, 1958)

Recognize the common unity and destiny of the human soul.

The Shaykh:
“When Muhammad stood up before a Jewish funeral procession and was asked why, he replied, ‘Is he not a soul that deserves honor, dignity and respect? He is a human soul and, therefore, has inherent value and has inherent sacredness and sanctity and the human soul should be honored and respected regardless of the realities of that person. That’s the prophetic ideal that must thrive in societies.’” (8:15 – 8:59)

The Preacher:
“They [our white brothers] have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone. [later] We will be able to speed up that day when all God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” (I Have a Dream Speech, August 28, 1963)

See the sanctity within each person.

The Shaykh:
“Am I someone who has genuine honor for others, genuine love? Can I see the sanctity in human beings no matter who they are? Rather than looking out into the world, rather than seeing all the ugly, I see all the beautiful. I see the beauty of human beings who are struggling to just be there.” (22:17 – 22:34)

The Preacher:
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” (I Have a Dream Speech, August 28, 1963)

Seek to love and forgive your enemies.

The Shaykh:
“Only Allah can measure the God consciousness of others. It’s not your responsibility to identify others as being this or that. (27:40 – 28:03) We hold dear to our beliefs. We have a distinct desire to see that human life is treated as sacred regardless of the differences that may exits – even in the quote-unquote enemy. No matter your worst enemy, whoever they may be, they deserve dignity as prescribed by Allah.” (16:22 – 16:58)

The Preacher:
“And so I stand here to say this afternoon to all assembled here, that in spite of the darkness of this hour, we must not despair. We must not become bitter nor must we harbor the desire to retaliate with violence. No, we must not lose faith in our white brothers.” (Eulogy after bombing of Sixteenth Street Baptist Church, September 18, 1963)

Care for one another.

The Shaykh:
“That’s what it means to be a mercy to mankind. To dignify others is to make sure that everyone comes before me. I want people to be lifted high and if it requires that I bow down and that my neck is broken for others, I will do it. That is the prophetic spirit. That is what it means to honor others, to care for others, regardless of religion or ethnicity or race or even in financiers in the economic realm.”(20:16 – 20:50)

The Preacher:
“The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others. (From his 1963 book, Strength to Love.) Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace; a soul generated by love.” (The Major Drum Instinct, sermon adapted from the 1952 homily ”Drum-Major Instincts” by J. Wallace Hamilton, 1952)

Cultivate a consciousness of Love.

The Shaykh:
“The most dignified and the most honorable amongst creation is the one who has the most God consciousness. “ (26:50 – 26:57)

The Preacher:
“Inject within the very structure of the universe that strong and powerful element of love.” (Loving Your Enemies, Nov. 17, 1957)

Seek to be vehicles of goodness and unconditional love.

The Shaykh:
“May he make us vehicles for good on this earth. May he make us prophetic vehicles of change toward goodness on this earth. May we be sources of mercy for others on this earth.” (26:57 -29:28)

The Preacher:
“Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. [later] I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.” (Noble Peace Prize Acceptance Speech, December 10, 1964)

Closing Quote: The Shaykh

“May Allah rectify the conditions of our humanity on this earth. May he allow it to begin with us. May he guide us, guide through us. May Allah rectify our hearts of the diseases that have caused the problems that we see today so that we can see a society that is prospering.” (30:17 – 30-22)

Closing Quote: The Preacher

“I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.” (I Have a Dream Speech, August 28, 1963)

Lovingly offered by the Shaykh and the Preacher.

It starts with an unexpected smolder. It won’t matter if the time is right or even available. It won’t be ignored. I call these clear impulses, embers, seeded in our heart by the Beloved. Sometimes they call for individual action. Other times, it takes a village. Graciously, this is one of those other times. The story, now just unfolding, is reported below…enjoy!

Early in December our Tree of Life Interfaith Temple board gathered for a meeting. One of our treasured members, Ilona Kwiecien, gave us an amazing talk of her experience at the Parliament of World Religions. Thank you Ilona! Stay tuned for a special presentation to come! At one point, she was conveying suggestions the Parliament had given for action and one of those was to hold a Peace Walk. When she said those two words, I felt a clear bolt of Yes! I had been feeling growing concern at the increasing amount of polarizing political rhetoric and, somehow, this felt instantly like it could galvanize a response to right action. Just a few days earlier, I had sent out an invitation to my professor of Islamic studies at Andover Newton Theological School, Celene Ibrahim, to come and speak at our next Community Retreat Day. As I drove home, I remember feeling a smoldering – that familiar stay tuned…something bigger is ready to take form here….

The next morning I was coming out of my practice when I felt a clear impulse. Really? Today? I am SO busy! School work due. Christmas right around the corner! Today? My mind protested! I was so enjoying just basking in the lights on the tree and around our living room. But, I knew I’d been given an assignment and I’d learned long ago not to hesitate. So, upstairs I went to write what would be the article I would send to the Nashua Telegraph and Union Leader: A Call to Action to Religious and Political Leaders. I had absolutely no idea it would be published as a Guest Commentary in the December 13th Sunday paper – right next to the only other Guest Commentary by Jeb Bush. Thank you editor of the Telegraph! Meanwhile, Professor Ibrahim had, excitedly, agreed to come. Thank you Professor Ibrahim!

The day after the Telegraph publication, my longtime interfaith colleague, Don Alusic, of the First Church of Christ Scientists in Milford, emailed me to ask if he could forward the article to others he knew involved in interfaith work. Sure! Thank you Don! Well, within just a few days, I was in touch with a growing number of people connected with the Manchester, Concord, Nashua and New London interfaith councils with whom I have shared both the January 24th talk with Professor Ibrahim as well as our idea for the Peace Walk. And, a representative from Rep. Kuster’s office called to get more information in advance of a meeting. Thank you Aseeb Niazi!

But, just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I was sharing the idea for the Peace Walk in my spiritual studies class and our Barbara Landry said, Why not a ‘national’ Peace Walk? Thank you Barbara! This amazing comment led me to forward the article to the three national organizations to which I belong as a way to hopefully introduce the idea of the Peace Walk. I now have a Skype meeting with the Chairperson of the Board of A World Alliance of Interfaith Clergy, Rev. Frances Bagdasarian. Thank you in advance Rev. Bagdasarian!

I am always left with such a simple yet overflowing, indescribable, heart explosion of amazing, grace-filled, gratitude when I sense being caught up in that which I could have known not – ie: did not see coming. Yet, of course, it all makes perfect sense even as the baffled mind composes Hallelujah – to reference a popular song.

And, it does take a village!! Each unchecked soul’s impulse, contribution, is needed to complete what is already conceived in the Beloved’s Soul – now seeking manifestation. This amazing vision of both cultivating and expressing interfaith solidarity beyond our local community is inviting all of us to participate in the ways most expressive of each individual’s soul impulse. We have been given this amazing assignment to bring forth the melody of the Beloved’s Song for our time. We are uniquely poised, qualified and experienced. Mostly, we know, tendering and deeply, the Love from which the Song of the Beloved is sung.

Look for opportunities to contribute coming in the near future – whether you are reading this near or far! Perhaps, just perhaps, you too will feel your heart set afire!!

Reporting live…
Rev. Stephanie

A few years ago, at this time of year, I went to the doctor with what I thought might be an ear infection. I remember feeling quite annoyed that I was losing some good shopping time. After endless waiting in the small room, the nurse finally came in looking a bit disheveled. I had seen her before and through bits and pieces of past conversations had come to know she had some health challenges of her own.

“Sorry for the wait,” she said. “What a crazy time of year, uh?”

“Sure is,” I answered.

“Think you might have an ear infection? Let’s see if you’ve got a temperature. Nope. Temp is normal.”

“Good,” I said.

Making notes, she asked, “Got your Christmas shopping done?’

“Oh, no!” I said. “Way behind this year.”

“Me too,” she said. And then, a silence hung over us as she wrapped the cuff around my arm. Suddenly, I heard myself asking, “How are you doing this year?” Sheepishly, she shook her head and said, “Oh, okay. Been better, I guess. I’m on my own this year and,” shaking her head a bit, “just don’t know how I’m going to cover it all.” Then, abruptly, “But you didn’t come in here to see about me! Blood pressure looks good. Let’s take a look in that ear. Oh, sure does look red. Open wide. Throat looks good.”

As she returned to her notes, I said, “Must be hard on your own, especially this time of year.” Then, pausing, she looked up at me sweetly, “Well, we all do the best we can, don’t we? But, thank you.” As she turned for the door, she smiled back at me. “The doctor will be in shortly.”And, out she went.

Shortly after, I left, picked up my antibiotics, my ear throbbing now, and headed home. Then, a light went on. “Okay, God. Now I know why you wanted me to go to the doctor today.” Then I felt my brow crinkle, “But, did I have to get this awful ear infection?” And, instantly, I knew, “You’ll be okay a day from now. Your nurse won’t be.”

I waited a couple of days to return to the office. I made sure I went in with my coat hood up just in case she came into the waiting room. You see, it’s very important that Santa’s helpers go about in disguise. I left a small envelop for her, signed from her Secret Santa, and swore all the other office elves to secrecy.

I usually see her each time I go to the doctor and now it’s almost worth whatever I am dealing with just to exchange a smile with her. How many times I have imagined her trying to figure out just who her Secret Santa might be and just the thought of it never fails to make my heart swell.

You see, Santa’s helpers know it is in secret that God does the most special work because the love never finds its end. It seeks no name. It needs no acknowledgement or gratitude. In secret, it becomes the gratitude, the wonder quickening the heart to respond in ways we don’t anticipate or expect, again and again, without end…

Shhhhhhh…listen…for that soft whisper…It is Love’s greatest secret…

Who knows? It just may put you on assignment…

Merry Christmas Everyone!

In this season of Thanksgiving, my heart is overflowing with quiet joy. There is a sweet remembrance of falling leaves painting breathless strokes against the sky. My grateful heartbeat now pulses to some song my soul has yet to sing. And, in the middle, I rest. I am complete.

How sacred is this life we have been given. A gift of Grace. And, as each moment skips past in delight, the only yearning that remains is to love a little better, forgive a little deeper and to respond a little swifter to the call of suffering in my neighbor’s eyes. For, why have such moments been given if not to compel us straight into the heart of one another?

I am so grateful for our community. I feel it a sanctuary in an increasingly polarized world. It is a blessing to gather into our circles, hand in hand, where we know we are held, supported and deeply cherished by one another. And, blessedly, this love then becomes a gift to the One Love and, like ripples in a pond, moves out to be used in ways we know not. How wonderful.

As children and grandchildren crowd around my Thanksgiving table and we bow our heads for grace, I want you to know that you too will be there with me for my heart bows in gratitude for each of you. I feel we have been brought together to live an amazing vision of unity amongst peoples, cultures and faith traditions. It is not easy to confront terror while continuing to hold the terrorist in our hearts. It is not easy to stand for goodness and compassion while some mistakenly forge hatred and polarization to separate us from one another. But, when I stand in our circles, I know that such separation is not possible. How I wish everyone could have such an experience. How different our world might be.

We are not meant to journey alone. It is why we have been given to one another. And, it is together, hand in hand, we will discover the equanimity born of courageous compassion to ever expand our circles as we walk our path, manifest our vision, and set a place for all at our table. I can think of no better way to say thank you for this life we have been given.

A Blessed Thanksgiving Everyone…
Stephanie

Dear Parisians & Terrorists,

Parisians, as I watch the terror that has unfolded in your city, know that your city is now my city. Your pain, horror, shock and mourning, is now mine also. For what is done to you, my brothers and sisters, is also done to me. As minister to an interfaith community, I can say with great confidence that I, as well as many in my community, stand with you in the full pursuit of right action that leads to accountability and justice. Your fight is now our fight for it is a fight for the restoration of peace and tolerance among peoples – a tolerance that strives to celebrate sameness across cultures and faith traditions while forging the difficult, challenging, yet critically essential, path to respecting and honoring difference.

We are largely a people of the pen, not the sword. We seek non-violence as our instinctive default. We recognize the power in harnessing forces for justice, as was seen in India with Gandhi and in our country with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., as opposed to fighting against, creating the real possibility of becoming that which we would destroy. But, make no mistake, if it becomes required of us to stand next to you in fighting evil at our doorsteps, we will not shy away. We will examine closely what is arising in our own hearts as we rise up in strong and clear pursuit of the restoration of justice. And, by God’s grace, we will choose, if need be, to die with you, by the sword of Truth.

To my brothers and sisters – yes you – the ones perpetrating evil, should you come upon this letter, know that we do not seek personal revenge. And, we refrain, as best we can, from judgment for it is our belief that God alone brings judicial sentencing. It is why we are told in the Bible, Galatians 6:7, we will reap what we have sown. Or, in the Qur’an, we are reminded: Indeed the death that you flee will indeed encounter you. Then you will be returned to the Knower of the sensible and the Unseen, and He will inform you about what you used to do. al-Jumu’ah: 62:8. So, while you may expect reward in heaven, instead, we believe you will first find yourself purged of all the terror you have perpetrated. The fear and horror you have caused others to feel, you will then, yourselves, come to feel. It is the only way God’s law may bring healing grace and compassion to all where evil once prevailed. Such is the birthright of all of us, being one with one another, in this heart of God in which we live.

Still, while you continue to cast a shadow of death upon our world, I assure you we will fear no evil for we know the great Shepherd guides our way. With His rod and staff, we will defend the helpless and seek to forge a new day of reckoning in the hearts of all peoples.

And, to all who may hear…
We will continue our interfaith work igniting a light in the midst of the darkest night. We will stand for the Truth that sets us all free from hatred and evil.
We will not fear death…as much as living a fearful life.
We will stand for goodness and mercy and continue to pray that, one day…

We all may dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

And, He will raise you up on eagle’s wings
Bear you on the breath of Love
Make you to shine like the sun
And, hold you in the palm of His hand

Not sure what catapulted me out of bed this morning. I just knew I wanted to be with my Beloved while it was still dark. I always do look forward to this time but something was different this morning. Some urgency. Some love-filled murmur, just a whisper, yet more compelling than a startled scream. I could not resist. Then, while sitting, I was drawn to listen to On Eagle’s Wings before moving into silence. And, suddenly I knew…as a prayer just poured out from my heart. May it somehow bless your day…

And, He will raise you up on eagle’s wings
O Beloved, teach me to soar, wings wide, resting in Your Grace.
Help me to sense Your guidance steering me along the best Path You have set for me.

Bear you on the breath of Love
Make me Your hallowed reed as You breathe me with Your Love.
Restore in me that perfect stillness hovering between Your in-breath and out-breath.

Make you to shine like the sun
Ignite me, Beloved, ablaze for You!
Burn away all that clouds my seeing so I may recognize Your face everywhere.

And, hold you in the palm of His hand
Sculpt me, my dear Beloved, in the most surprising ways to be for You what I know not.
Pluck my heart strings so I may learn to dance only to Your heartbeat.

Amen

You would never find it unless you knew just where to look. The old logging road is now grown up and the waterway is stealthily guarded by rocky boulders. But such is the way when in search of the sacred. Lucky for us, we stumbled upon it some twenty-five years ago – this sacred piece of wilderness my husband and I would come to call our special place.

At the time, I can’t say we were in search of the sacred. No, it was much more like a desperate search to escape the bugs. My husband had convinced me to try wilderness camping – a far cry for me who’d never been campground camping. But, he was so enthusiastic and insisted, without doubt, it was going to be wonderful. So, off we went in search of that dream wilderness campsite somewhere hidden deep in the Maine woods.

About forty miles in on dirt logging roads we arrived, right at dusk, and saw what looked like a path heading straight into those dense, now ominous looking, woods. But, darkness loomed so we had no choice. In we went. After some distance, we saw the remains of a campsite long cold. My husband rushed to make a fire and we set up our tent. As night settled around us, I remember he kept fanning the smoke my way (sweet guy that he is) to deter the thick veil of bugs now eagerly circling us. I was not smiling.

And I heard God laughing (Hafiz) I don’t remember much about that first night but the next morning we decided to hike up the path. Soon we noticed a very narrow opening leading through some dense bushes. Curious, we followed. Within just a few feet we emerged out onto a wide open area. Perched high, we found ourselves looking out over a lake, a small waterfall to the side and, at the other end, a beautiful pond merging into a river downstream. I’m not sure we took in all the natural beauty at first. Mainly, we were just relieved to feel a cool breeze and to, finally, not be swatting the bugs.

But, no doubt, heaven had arrived.

For many years we would return to canoe, bathe and frolic in the pond and to just rest in the sound of the rushing waters. For me, there has been no place more sacred. Then, in 2000 I started going to New Mexico each summer for yoga teacher trainings and over the years family events and health issues kept us from our sacred site – that is until last week.

How my heart was pounding as we quickly made our way down the vaguely familiar path, past the mosquito pit, as we have come to affectionately call that first site, and then – no bushes – just suddenly we were there and – What? A picnic table! No! I had to laugh as I was the one most perturbed that it made our site look so domesticated! Then, as we paused, we noticed that our beloved friends the pine trees had all grown up and had gently scattered their needles across the ground. Looking through their boughs, we saw the lake, waterfall and pond just as we remembered. And, slowly, the familiar sound of the water came rushing into our memory inviting us to step deeply and release softly into its cool, dark, depths. We were Home. Gratefully, our site is now protected by a Down East Land Trust, whom we assume added the picnic table, but also assures this earthly treasure will be protected. Still, even more remote now, it was clear no one had been there in a very long time.

Being much older, for this return visit we decided to stay in a rustic cabin on a nearby lake at a lovely lodge called The Pines. This was a treat all to itself with gas lights in our cabin and a view from our porch that was so pristine I had to continually remind myself it was real. The ringing of the bell for breakfast and a delectable dinner, packed lunches, as well as access to an actual bathroom and shower were also special treats to round out the wilderness edges. Ahhhhh, but during the day we journeyed over to our site and each time we arrived I felt like we’d just re-discovered that hidden treasure, hallowed secret, waiting just for us.

And, how the discovery of the outer sacred mirrors the inner sacred, does it not? Approaching the adventure of our spiritual walk and practice, we are often drawn out of our comfort zone into what can feel like those ominous woods of our inner territory. It’s dark in there! What will I find? And, of course, our first encounter is the mosquito pit – those impinging fears, the cloaked emotions hiding in the light of day and all those pesky aches and pains. Yikes! This is not what I thought!

But, if we persevere, go even deeper, the Beloved will lay before us a narrow opening For strait is the gate and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life (Mat. 7:14) inviting, no compelling, us into a Love that knows no resistance. But, we must pay attention to see and make the decision to follow. For this is no ordinary Path. Here we are re-routed to points unknown that, ultimately, lead straight into a beauty well beyond the wild of our imagination.

Of course, the Path to the inner sacred is not so linear. It’s more like a labyrinth. Many times we find ourselves circling out into the pit of our beloved (yes, beloved) mosquitoes whose job it is to carve even deeper into the roots of our resistance. And, blessedly, recalling those moments we have circled back in, to stumble upon that which is beyond our understanding, we find, again, it is rarely what we could have imagined.

You see the Beloved loves to play hide and seek…

Peeking though the lofty swaying tree boughs…
Whispering on the waves of the gushing water…
Nestling in the soft beds of pine needles…

To, suddenly, surprise us…catching our soul with some unnamable joy…

And, we hear a silent giggle, “Your It!”

Indeed.